Making co-parenting work

Many Wisconsin parents of young children are either divorced or otherwise separated from each other, but they must still work together in order to raise the children they share. There are good reasons to try to make co-parenting work, as studies have clearly shown children fare better when they grow up in shared-parenting custodial arrangements.

Co-parenting can be difficult and issues are bound to arise from time to time. When a parent is working with the other parent to raise the child, there are certain approaches they can take to make co-parenting more successful.

The first step for a parent is to look at the other parent as a partner in raising their child. They may want to set boundaries regarding conversational topics, reserving conversations only for their child and what their child needs rather than delving into past wrongs or hurts. Solutions-focused conversations can be helpful. In these, the parent approaches the other with a number of proposed solutions for problems that have occurred. Avoiding arguments is also smart. In some cases, one parent will try to get the other involved in an argument. Refusing to do so can help to smooth things over in the long run. Not giving up on co-parenting is important because it is better for the child’s interests.

Many parenting plans call for different types of shared parenting arrangements. While the child may live primarily with one parent and have visitation with the other, parents often share legal custody of the child. Legal custody involves making major decisions about the child and can include decisions about education, health, medication and religion. Parents who approach legal decision-making and parenting as partners working together may enjoy better relationships with each other and with their child. Children generally love both of their parents and are better adjusted if they see them working together.