Child custody trend of “nesting” grows among divorced parents

Milwaukee parents who are divorcing their spouses may understandably have concerns about how the separation is going to affect their children. While it is not true that a divorce is automatically going to traumatize a child, it is good to pay attention to your child’s well-being during what will be a time of great transition.

To reduce the impact a divorce and subsequent child custody arrangement may have on children, some parents are turning to a trend called “nesting.” Basically, the children stay put in one house and it is the parents who shuttle back and forth.

The chief positive of nesting is that it allows children to feel that they have a permanent space of their own. This can help them feel more stable and more grounded.

However, nesting raises some unique complications. First, do the parties of a divorced couple really want to keep in that close contact with one another? That can draw our the separation and slow a person’s ability to move on. Second, nesting can be expensive if the father has his own home, the mother has her own home and the children occupy a third home. There are also practical consideration to sort out, such as who buys the groceries, who metes out chores and enforces homework time and curfew and who has authority over day-to-day housekeeping concerns, such as redecorating and furniture.

If you think nesting is something you would like to try, it would be a good idea to speak out the arrangement with your family law attorney. He or she can listen to your proposed arrangement and can point out what might be some legal sticking points. At that point, if you are still interested, your attorney can discuss with you some possible ways to address those sticking points.

Source: Time, “Latchkey Parents,” Belinda Luscombe, Sept. 26, 2011