J. Crew boss to try on a size XL divorce

Many Milwaukee residents probably know J. Crew, the clothing company beloved by Michelle Obama and other clotheshorses. If so, they are probably familiar with the face of J. Crew, Jenna Lyons. J. Crew has made Lyons, its president and creative director, a prominent fixture of its marketing campaigns. She usually appears in advertisements with her son to convey the message that it is possible to be a modern, career-oriented professional and parent — and to look great all the while.

The focus of that marketing strategy might need to change, though. Lyons recently filed for divorce from Vincent Mazeau, her husband since 2002, and is reportedly leaving him for a relationship with a woman.

It seems Lyons’ marriage to Mazeau fell apart this summer. Now, the two are trying to figure out a child custody arrangement for their son, Beckett.

Another unresolved issue is whether Lyons will have to pay Mazeau spousal support. Last year, she earned $4.2 million while he was primarily a stay-at-home dad. Mazeau has said he gave up on his career as an artist so that Lyons could pursue her career at J. Crew.

All in all, this has the makings for a rather contentious divorce. Money, fame and a professional reputation are at stake and if it’s true that Lyons left her husband for a woman, then there is just a whiff of scandal about the whole affair.

Generally speaking, in child custody cases, judges consider the best interests of the child. When it comes to spousal support, they look to each spouse’s need and to the other spouse’s ability to pay.

Now, that is really an over-generalization. Every relationship is unique and there are a host of other nuances and smaller factors that play into the situation. (Here, for instance, is true that Mazeau “gave up” his career as an artist? Many artists do not make it professionally; was he really “giving up” anything at all?)

If you are heading towards a divorce or need guidance in determining an acceptable child-custody arragement, it would be a good idea to have a conversation with a Milwaukee attorney who specializes in these matters. He or she will be able to elaborate more on all the details of what goes into child custody and spousal support decisions.

Source: The Daily Mail, “Millionaire J. Crew boss who painted five-year-old son’s toenails pink splits from husband — and moves on with lesbian lover,” Daniel Bates, Oct. 25, 2011

The Second Chances Act: A good idea, or government intrusion?

People in Milwaukee have no doubt heard others make the argument that it is too easy to get a divorce these days. However, it is equally certain that there are those in Milwaukee who know — either from personal experience or from knowing others who have divorced — that in some relationships, the best thing for both partners is to end the marriage.

Given that people tend to have passionate (and contrasting) ideas about divorce, there is likely to be a stir over a piece of anti-divorce legislation that has been drafted by a group of people who want to add “speed bumps” to the divorce process. The “Second Chances Act” has not yet been adopted by any state, including Wisconsin, but its supporters are traveling around the U.S. singing its praises in hopes that state legislatures will take up the issue.

The concept behind the Second Chances Act is that couples might be less likely to divorce if they have to take a step back and thoroughly consider the process. The Second Chances Act calls for a letter advising a spouse that divorce is right around the corner, a “cooling-off” period and reconciliation training. The restrictions would be waived in certain circumstances like adultery, substance abuse or domestic violence. One of the main reasons supporters of The Second Chances Act are pushing the legislation is because they think it would benefit children, whom they claim are harmed when parents split up.

On the other hand, no one has ever said people should rush into a divorce. And isn’t it true that people who are married are adults who can and should be trusted to think through it on their own? Lastly, the idea that divorce is automatically traumatic for children is a rather bold assumption. True, the process of divorce is never fun, but it does not have to be a damaging experience.

What are your feelings about this issue? Do you think it would be good to slow down the speed with which people can obtain a divorce, or do you think we don’t need such precautions?

Source: The Washington Times, “Divorce-prevention plan advises time, talk,” Cheryl Wetzstein, Oct. 23, 2011

Sonic Split: Sonic Youth cofounders to divorce

Milwaukee music fans, take note: after 27 years together, the cofounders of the iconic 1990s band Sonic Youth are getting a divorce.

Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore have been called “indie rock’s ‘It’ couple.” Together, they founded one of the most respected punk bands of the last decade and had a solid 15-year career of hits. They also attracted attention because they were a rare example of artists who were able to work closely with one another while still maintaining an apparently harmonious personal relationship.

Many music fans are upset over news of the divorce not only because they worry about what it will mean for the band, but because Gordon and Moore were idolized as the ideal couple by many so-called Gen Xers.

However, fans of Sonic Youth should not be too brokenhearted. Many couples are able to remain friends even after they dissolved their marriages. And as for the band, it is possible Moore and Gordon will keep it going. They have come this far, so they obviously have something worth saving and maybe they will realize that and work to preserve the band.

Many couples who found a business (like a money-making rock band) work closely with attorneys when they divorce because lawyers can listen to what the couple hopes will happen to the business and then outline a plan for achieving it. If the couple would like to split the business, the lawyer can show them how to fairly and equitably divide it. If the couple would like to keep the business going, a lawyer can draft an operating agreement that gets certain expectations in writing.

All in all, a lawyer may be able to take some of the pain and uncertainty out of divorce.

Source: The Atlantic Wire, “Gen X is Unsure if it Will Love Again After the Sonic Youth Divorce,” Adam Clark Estes, Oct. 17, 2011

How a prenuptial agreement can protect your business

Milwaukee residents who own businesses may have a little hesitancy about getting married. These business owners love their soon-to-be-spouses, of course, but they do not want to risk the health of the businesses they have worked so hard to establish in the event that they are to divorce.

One good way that some business owners choose to ensure the ongoing integrity of their businesses is to seek out a prenuptial agreement before marrying. One family law expert called prenuptial agreements “the most cost-efficient and reliable pre-marital contract that can protect your business in the event of a divorce.”

The primary reason this and other family law insiders hold this opinion is that a prenuptial agreement specifies how property will be distributed in the event of a divorce. In the context of a business, that means you can state in advance that you will maintain ownership of your business and its assets if you and your spouse eventually split.

Of course, this presumes two things: that your prenuptial agreement is valid and enforceable and that it has been specifically customized to you and your unique situation. For this, you will need to identify and work with a family law attorney whom you trust and esteem. Lawyers who specialize in this field are familiar with the ins and outs of this area of law and can make sure that you are getting a prenuptial agreement that works for you.

A good way to find an attorney with whom you would like to work is to ask family members, friends and business associates if they have any recommendations. You can also check with your local bar association.

Source: Forbes, “Protecting Your Business In A Divorce: Pre-Nuptial Agreement,” Evangeline Gomez, Nov. 2, 2011

Not so fast: Tiki Baber can’t remarry until divorce is finalized

Wisconsin is like all other states in that it has a few general requirements for adults entering into marriage. First, each has to be over the age of 18, must be able to consent, must be capable of sexual intercourse and must not be a party to an undissolved marriage. That last part means a divorce must be final before someone can marry another person.

New York has similar requirements and the last one, about not marrying someone while still being married to another person, is apparently where former New York Giants running back Tiki Barber’s plans to marry his second wife have gone awry.

Barber has been engaged to his fiancée for awhile now and planned to marry her this spring, but it seems that he is going to have to delay the wedding until his divorce from his previous wife is finalized.

Barber separated from his wife Ginny Cha in April 2010. He has entered into a new relationship with Traci Johnson, whom he met while working as a television commentator, and the two evidently made arrangements to wed in the spring.

However, Barber’s divorce from Cha is still tried up in Manhattan Supreme Court because Barber and Cha cannot agree on a property settlement. Barber has said he cannot afford what Cha is asking in terms of spousal maintenance and child support (the couple have four children). In this instance, however, Cha has a bargaining chip because she knows Barber cannot marry Johnson until their divorce is finalized. It is improper to stall a divorce proceeding for an improper purpose like a delay for delay’s sake and her lawyer would likely decline to go along with it, but still — Cha does not exactly have an incentive to hurry things along.

Source: The New York Post, “Tiki, Traci wedding glitch,” Nov. 14, 2011

Pop quiz time, Milwaukee: Can you be “too nice” during a divorce?

Thanks for checking back in on our divorce and family law blog. In this day and age, many people in and around Milwaukee are facing very important issues regarding things like divorce, child support, child custody and spousal maintenance. It is important to be informed about these social factors, so hopefully this blog proves to be a useful source to you for information and news relevant to these areas.

A good thing to address in this post might be the desire many of us in Wisconsin have to, if we are going to divorce, be kind and understanding about it. This is certainly a commendable goal because the less acrimony there is in our society, the better off we will all be.

That being said, it is crucial that you understand that amicably divorcing does not mean you will never have to stand up for yourself or that you should feel bad about taking a stand if and when it becomes necessary. You are negotiating with someone whom you once loved and once shared a life with, so sometimes it is hard to be your best advocate.

A good family law attorney, however, will not let you get taken advantage of. A lawyer who has helped clients through divorce before understands it is an emotional time and will respectfully and tactfully usher you through the process. A third party, like an attorney, can make sure that your soon-to-be-ex spouse doesn’t capitalize on your history together (either intentionally or unintentionally) and will not let you allow your emotions to get the best of you. Having such an advocate can be a very important asset during what is often an emotionally taxing time.

Source: Reuters, “Divorce mistakes you can make by being too nice,” Geoff Williams, June 26, 2012

Family, friends, religions, recognize new divorce customs

Different cultures and religions around the world are coming up with some interesting ways to help couples seek peace, forgiveness and start a new chapter.

You may have heard of divorce parties with close friends, or maybe a private glass of champagne once the final papers are signed in your divorce lawyer’s office. But what about ending the marriage with as much ceremony as you started it? International customs are changing and growing just as the numbers of divorces are growing.

Here in the U.S. The Unitarian Universalist church has a divorce ceremony they call a “ceremony of hope.” The divorcing couple can apologize and ask one another for forgiveness and blessings in front of friends and family who were also present for the wedding.

In China, it is customary that the divorce papers not be signed in the home, and then the ink and pen used to sign the documents must be thrown away because they may contain bad luck.

In Germany, one bishop has proposed a Mass of Lament where friends and family would gather in church and listed to the couple explain their reasons for divorce.

In a Japanese temple you can write your breakup wishes on a piece of paper and flush them down the toilet. Literally. Their divorce ceremonies also usually involve a buffet meal and a ritualistic smashing of the wedding rings. Japan has actually seen a large increase in divorces after the devastating earthquakes and tsunamis there.

If you live in Wisconsin and are contemplating divorce, it might help if you concentrate on the final goal; the light at the end of the tunnel; your next phase in life. Divorce is always a tough decision to make so let our firm help you with the logistics so you can plan your own Milwaukee divorce celebration party.

Source: Huffington Post, “Divorce Custom: 7 Post-Split Rituals From Around The World,” July 21, 2012

Managing your insurance plans after a divorce

Divorce can bring sweeping changes to a person’s life. After the paperwork is finalized, it can seem overwhelming to adjust to changes in home life or in relationships. But it’s important to remember another change that requires attention immediately after divorce: managing separate insurance plans.

Altering health insurance policies is one of the principal changes that must be made following a separation. Often, both spouses are covered under a single policy. After a divorce, spouses should not simply leave their ex on their policy, as this constitutes insurance fraud and could leave your ex unexpectedly uninsured. Recently divorced spouses can apply for coverage on their spouse’s plan under COBRA, but this is only a temporary measure. For long-term coverage, the divorced spouse will need to purchase their own plan.

Life insurance policies may also require attention. Both spouses are usually covered on a single life insurance policy, which is owned by one of the spouses. Only the owner of the policy can make changes to it, such as naming beneficiaries. This means that after the divorce, the other spouse will usually need to purchase their own policy. Insurance payments can be included in divorce settlements; those concerned about maintaining coverage after the divorce may wish to consider this option.

Divorced spouses must also remember to separate their car insurance policies. If both cars were on the same plan before the separation, both spouses will need to purchase a new policy afterwards. Like life insurance, the cost of car insurance can be included in spousal support agreements.

Some spouses may find that their insurance payments go down after a divorce, as they remove their ex-spouses from their policies. Others may find themselves faced with significant monthly payments. Spouses concerned about making those payments may wish to speak to a lawyer about including them in their spousal support agreement. Most importantly, spouses must reassess each policy they control to ensure that they are receiving the proper amount of coverage.

Source: Reuters, “How to untangle your insurance plans in divorce,” Geoff Williams, Sept. 11, 2012

Coping financially when enduring a divorce

When faced with a divorce, it can be extremely difficult for both parties, but even more for the children who are involved. As you face the divorce process, you will need to consider what parenting plans you will put into effect. Even though many parents strive to ensure the child has the same lifestyle as before, it can become extremely difficult in this situation. Essentially, there are two households operating on the same income as before, which can lead to hardship for the parties involved.

Before you begin a long and drawn-out divorce battle, try to work out a plan for custody as quickly as possible. Working together to help make the process smoother will help save both parties a lot of hassles and headaches during the court hearing. It is important to maintain civil and prevent putting the child through any more than what they are already undergoing.

Regardless of whether you live in Wisconsin or any other state, the process is essentially the same for divorce proceedings. The better prepared and willing to cooperate both parties are, the easier the process is for everyone involved. Even though you cannot predict what the future holds in store for your financial situation, you can try to develop a plan that will work best for the time being.

Divorces are an extensive process, which is why it is important to have an experienced attorney on your side. When you have someone who is knowledgeable about the matters of the law, you will not have to worry about being taken advantage of during the proceeding. Don’t face divorce alone when there are attorneys available to help walk you through the process.

Source: Fox Business, “Managing Finances Through a Divorce,” Andrea Murad, Sept. 28, 2012

Baby boomer splits — known as gray divorces — on the rise

Actors Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman recently announced they are parting ways after a 30-year marriage. While the announcement surprised some, research by Bowling Green State University suggests the couple’s split may be part of a growing trend. Over the last 20 years, the divorce rate for couples age 50 and over has increased more than 100 percent. Experts say a number of factors are leading to the increase in these so-called gray divorces.

While older couples divorce for many of the same reasons as younger couples — infidelity, for example — other factors come into play as a couple ages. By the time a couple reaches age 50, their children often are grown. When they no longer have the joint goal of raising a family, a couple may find they no longer share common values and interests. Unlike their parents and grandparents who often married because society expected them to, baby boomers married for personal fulfillment. Once they realize the marriage no longer makes them happy, they are less inclined to stay.

Another factor in gray divorces is the increased economic independence of women over age 50. A woman who has been in the workforce for a number of years has sufficient resources to support herself. She is not afraid to leave an unhappy marriage.

Divorce at any age is difficult. While empty nesters may not have child support and custody issues, property division often is more complicated because of the large number of assets a couple has acquired over time. A high-asset divorce requires valuation of things like business interests, pensions and second homes. An experienced divorce attorney can aid in this process.

Source: CBS This Morning, “‘Gray divorces’ increasing sharply,” Oct. 13, 2012