Tag Archive for: emotions

In divorce, being right does not always mean being happy

Wisconsin divorces often become more complicated when couples lose focus of what might be best for both parties and their children. Some couples concentrate on the wrongs they feel they’ve suffered. The emotions related to these perceived wrongs can be so intense that they only serve to add drama to the divorce negotiations.

Sometimes, the emotions related to a divorce can overpower the couple’s sense of clarity. It is during moments like these when perhaps the best person to ask about the situation is a disconnected third-party who can look at the situation and clearly see what would be best for those involved.

Making decisions based on emotions can sometimes be very volatile during a divorce process, leading to negative outcomes for those involved. Sometimes, it is better to negotiate without going to court. A legal battle over maintenance, child support or the separation of family assets can become costly, both in time and money. Additionally, it can also cause stress and even more more emotional pain. Asking a lawyer for advice on achieving fair negotiations and avoiding lengthy legal battles can be the best way to find a solution that is beneficial for all parties involved.

Because emotions can be so overwhelming during a divorce, couples have the option of filing for a Temporary Hearing to address issues such as payment of bills, maintenance and child support, child custody and even the use of the family’s residence and automobile at the beginning of the process. There are many laws regulating the divorce process, and a lawyer can be a valuable asset to navigate them.

Source: WiCourts, “Basic Guide to Divorce/Legal Separation”

Source: Huffington Post, “Do You Want To Be Right Or Do You Want To Be Happy?“, Debbi Dickinson, June 18, 2013

Emotional issues can lead to unwise divorce settlements

Because even amicable divorces are wrought with a variety of issues, Milwaukee area couples who are soon-to-be ex-spouses often do not make wise decisions in their negotiations. The initial sensation of overwhelming emotion can be at fault during initial divorce negotiations, leading spouses to agree to terms with which they may be uncomfortable and often tend to change months or years later in agreement modification. Being aware of common mistakes that occur during divorce negotiations can help save time, money, effort and prevent frustration down the line.

Making decisions without fully understanding the implications is the number one problem. Although it is tempting to let an attorney handle everything, including financial decisions, spouses should get as much information as possible make sure they fully understand what may happen in five, 10 or more years from now. Losing control is another problem. Never let legal counsel make decisions without consultation. Acting out of anger is another hard-learned lesson. Staying away from court battles and sticking to the facts makes the process go more smoothly.

Although the divorce process is commonly called a settlement, ex-spouses shouldn’t settle for anything less than they feel they are worth. Couples need to be fair to themselves and their soon-to-be exes. Most importantly, divorcing spouses should not lose themselves. By taking a step back, planning and researching, couples can reach smart divorce decisions.

Experienced attorneys knowledgeable about Wisconsin divorce law may be able to help divorcing couples make the transition from married to single smooth in legal terms. Although ultimately no one except the individuals involved have the ultimate control on their emotions, professional divorce attorney can be expected to remain neutral and provide guidance in even the most difficult circumstances.

Source: Huffington Post, “The 5 Worst Mistakes People Make During Divorce“, Michelle Rozen, August 24, 2013

Infidelity and divorce

Allegations of infidelity have sounded the death knell for many Wisconsin marriages. While some spouses may be willing to forgive an indiscretion, others are unable to move beyond the negative emotions and hurt caused by a spouse’s unfaithful behavior. In those cases, divorce may be the only option. However, infidelity may not play any role in a divorce proceeding depending upon state law.

Many states have no-fault divorce laws, and a spouse who is seeking a divorce need not prove that the other spouse did anything wrong to cause the marriage to end. In most such states the court will not consider a history of infidelity or other bad behavior by one or both spouses in determining issues such as property division, child support or alimony.

In many no-fault states the court will base child support on statutory guidelines that consider the parties’ incomes and the children’s physical placement, not who was to blame for the marriage’s demise. In determining whether to award spousal support, the court will look at factors such as the length of the marriage and earning capacity of the parties, not whether one party was unfaithful. However, if a spouse’s bad behavior affects or endangers the well-being of the children, the court may factor it into its consideration of a child custody dispute.

Someone contemplating a divorce may wish to speak with an attorney that is experienced in family law matters. The attorney may be able to negotiate and prepare agreements relating to such matters as property division and spousal support. If there are children from the marriage, the attorney may be able to provide advice and counsel on such issues as child support and visitation rights.

Source: HuffingtonPost, “A Cheating Heart and Its Role in Divorce“, Caroline Choi, October 01, 2013

Factors to consider when moving after divorce

After the dust settles from a divorce, Wisconsin parents may decide to move and get a fresh start somewhere else. However, moving may create a conflict with child custody and make it difficult for the noncustodial parent to see the children. Before moving, there are several key factors that families should consider.

The biggest factor of all is what is in the best interest of the child. If the decision is brought before the court, this interest overrules that of a parent’s desire to make more money or live somewhere else. The court will also consider if the move will improve the child and parent’s quality of life. Different children can be impacted by relocating in different ways.

The party that is not moving may decide to contest the relocation. If this occurs, the other party will basically have to prove that the child will not be detrimentally impacted to a significant degree. Loved ones might scrutinize the decision to move and criticize the custodial parent’s decision. Some may believe that the decision was made out of spite and anger. To avoid these types of accusations, custodial parents should make this type of decision when they are more objective and not impacted by their high emotions. The custodial parent should be able to show that the child’s quality of life will improve even though he or she will be separated from the noncustodial parent.

If a parent has custody of a child and wants to move, he or she may want to consult with a family law attorney. The attorney may be able to explain if there is anything in the custody order that precludes this action or the steps the parent can take if the other parent contests the relocation.

Source: The Huffington Post, “6 Things to Expect and Consider When Relocating with Children After Divorce“, Andrea Moore, December 18, 2013