Study reveals fighting style, not fighting itself, may lead to divorce

Many people assume that screaming, throwing things and other explosive fighting styles are most likely to lead to divorce. A study recently conducted by the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor indicates that there are other fighting styles that are far more likely to lead to divorce.

The study, which was conducted over the course of 16 years, followed 373 couples and started with each couple’s first year of marriage in order to determine how various fighting styles influenced the chance of divorce. In addition, the study found crucial differences in the fighting styles of men and women.

According to the study, explosive fights with screaming and tossed objects are actually less likely to lead to eventual divorce than fights in which one partner attempts to calmly analyze the situation and the other partner quickly withdraws. This fighting pattern is dangerous, says the study, because the withdrawal signifies a lack of interest or investment in the marriage to the more analytical partner.

The lowest divorce rates were found in those couples that both used an analytical, objective attitude during fights. Further, the study showed that men typically use more constructive methods during fights as compared to women. However, women were found to use increasingly constructive methods over the course of a marriage, while men’s fighting styles largely remained the same throughout.

Interestingly, the study also found that approximately 21% of wives and 29% of husbands reported a total absence of fighting during the first year of marriage. However, 46 percent of these couples had divorced by the 16th year of the study and fighting in the first year did not affect the likelihood of divorce.

Source: Kansas City Star, “Study: It’s your fight style, not the fight, that may lead to divorce,” Amber DiNenna, 1/28/2011